Archive for the ‘Allen Iverson’ Category

The Mathematical Answer

September 9, 2009
‘Nuff digital ink has already been wasted debating God’s decision to tell Allen Iverson to sign with Memphis. So rather than waste anymore, The Hoops Manifesto steals a page from The Blowtorch and breaks it down mathematically.

+

+

+

=

Advertisements

"It Ain’t Nothing But The Devil"

August 2, 2009

I was originally reluctant to join Twitter but now I’m glad I did. If I wasn’t for Twitter I wouldn’t have the following links for all you good people to check out. They’re the best Jerry, the best. Here are some of the gems I’ve discovered this past week.

First off, the Lego adventures of Allen Iverson and friends is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on the world wide web in a long time. Nuff respect due to the Overflow blog.

Lego Iverson Part 1

Lego Iverson Part 2

Lego Iverson Part 3

Lego Iverson Part 4

Lego Iverson Part 5

Lego Iverson Part 6

And of course, our good friend Stephon Marbury is still hard at work entertaining us all. In this latest instalment he runs into the devil in his Benz. As we all know from experience, that’s not a fun thing to have happen to you.

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Bet you didn’t know that Donyell Marshall was really Luke’s father.

So an Austrian, a Frenchman and an American are on a movie set together….

That’s it for my lazy links dump post. Currently working on a NBA All-Eccentric Team. Any suggestions speak now or forever hold your peace.

Not The Answer

July 14, 2009

Have pity upon thy lowly L.A. Clipper fans, for their team just doesn’t get it. As if it wasn’t bad enough to have to share an arena with the much more popular Lakers, they are now the WORLD CHAMPION LAKERS. And the Clippers are still the Clippers. But rejoice Clip Nation – all is not lost. Things are actually looking up – you got the first pick in the draft. Better yet, you didn’t draft a Michael Olowokandi clone this time, you got the real deal in Blake Griffin. With young, talented wing players in Eric Gordon and Al Thornton things are looking up. You were even able to get rid of Zach Randolph, who is a known carcinogen to young talent. The future’s so bright you gotta wear shades.

That is, until this conversation took place in the Clippers war room (an old broom closet that the Lakers weren’t using) this week:
Lowly Clipper LackeySo Boss, what’s our next move to strengthen our roster and steer our ship towards the bright future just over the horizon?

The Boss (GM Mike Dunleavy) – Well, I think what we really need now is an undersized, ball-dominant, poor shooting, defensive liability shooting guard who is on the wrong side of 30 and still thinks he’s a superstar so he has to be a starter.

LackeyBrilliant idea Skipper! He’ll fit in well with our ball-dominant, poor-shooting, injury prone 30-year-old point guard!
Note to L.A. Clipper management – DO NOT SIGN ALLEN IVERSON!!! When I say do not, I mean don’t kinda sign Allen Iverson, or sorta sign Allen Iverson, I mean DO NOT SIGN ALLEN IVERSON!!! Why is it that some people, whenever they have a bit of success and seem to be headed in the right direction find a way to sabotage things. Clippers, AI would sabotage things for you. Iverson doesn’t want to come off of the bench, so you’re going to send Eric Gordon – who had a very good rookie season – to the bench? You’re going to give the minutes Gordon needs to develop to a 34-year-old 6’0″ shooting guard who is going to miss 12 shots a night? You’re going to introduce Blake Griffin to the NBA by putting him out there with a backcourt that is going to hoist up 40 shots a night? Doesn’t Dunleavy know that the contest for the most inept GM is over now that Kevin McHale and Zeke are no longer in the League?

I used to be an Iverson fan. I even risked my life to drive through a horrendous snowstorm to watch him play while he was in college. He is all heart. Fearless. A relentless scorer and competitor. He was perfect for the underdog attitude in Philly. A real life, modern day Rocky. But didn’t you see what happened when he left Denver and went to Detroit? Didn’t you see the Nuggets become a legit title contender and Detroit implode? Didn’t you see him causing grief about coming off the bench? Don’t you want to give Gordon and Thornton and Griffin the responsibility, shots and minutes needed to develop? Haven’t your fans suffered enough?

You will not become a better team with Allen Iverson and Baron Davis sharing a backcourt. This is only a slight improvement on the nightmare backcourt that was Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis. Don’t sign Iverson. Try to trade Davis. If you’re going to lose (and trust me, your going to lose with David and Iverson), lose because of youth and inexperience. Not because of bullheadedness and age.

No Clippers, The Answer isn’t the correct answer to this question.

Ringleader of the Tormentors

May 14, 2009

There is no way even the most prescient of fortune tellers, looking into their most reliable crystal balls, would have forsaw at the starting of the season the Denver Nuggets in the Western Conference finals. The Nuggets were a ruddlerless group of outcasts and misfits. The front office gave the word “inept” a bad name. Case in point – after coach George Karl decided the team would have to be better defensively heading into this season, the team shipped off defensive stud Marcus Camby in a salary dump.

Then Allen Iverson came to the rescue. Except, it wasn’t on the court. As exciting a player as Iverson is, he hasn’t been real great at helping teams win many games (YES, I know he got Philly to a Finals, but winning the Eastern Conference is like winning an Emmy to the Western Conference’s Oscar). No, Iverson’s biggest contribution to the Nuggets was the day he left town and Chauncey Billups rode in to save the day.

What the Nuggets were lacking all along was a ringleader for their group of misfits. And make no mistake about it, the Nuggets are misfits. A former junkie who spikes his hair and thinks he’s a bird (man) every game. A center with one name, coming off knee and cancer surgery. A heavily tatted guard coming off the bench whose next ink job should say “mercurial”. An underappreciated and underperforming superstar. A power forward with the League’s largest “swagger to actual skills” differential. Billups is what this team was missing. While Iverson was just another misfit, Billups is their ringmaster. The one who can bring all the misfits together and make them one.
Now the team actually plays defense, even without Camby. Now Melo doesn’t have to worry about being a leader and can just punish opponents with his unorthodox game. Now J.R. Smith can just come off the bench and bomb. Now George Karl can look like a good coach.

What is forgotten in all this is that Billups is a misfit himself. After going third overall in the draft, he played on four different teams within his first four years in the League. He really didn’t establish himself until his sixth season in the L, and his fifth team, Detroit. Then he goes and wins a Finals MVP, even before he becomes an All-Star? Things like this don’t happen. Draft lottery busts don’t go on to become MVPs and All-Stars and potential Hall-of-Famers after burning through five teams.

While Denver is sure to be underdogs the rest of the way through the playoffs, the way they’re playing they very well could win it all. Its all due to the fact that they got their math correct finally: Billups > Iverson.