Archive for the ‘Funny Ha Ha’ Category

The Adventures of Super Cool Beas

August 23, 2009

Recent conversation at Michael Beasley’s crib:
One of Beasley’s Boys: Yo Mike, how is your new tattoo?

Super Cool Beas: Super Cool, my man. ‘Cept it is super sore.

Beasley’s Boy: No problem, I’m holding something that will help numb the pain.

Super Cool Beas: Super cool, my man. Throw the baggie of it over on my super cool coffee table.

Beasley’s Boy: Will do Super Cool Beas.

Super Cool Beas: I’ve got to take a picture of my super cool new tattoo. Once everyone sees this picture they’ll realize why I’m called Super Cool Beas.
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Awesome Athlete Ads Volume III

August 21, 2009

You’ll have to forgive the lazy posts recently, but it’s the offseason – get off my back!! Continuing The Hoops Manifesto’s awesome athlete ad series, here’s three for the price of one. You’re welcome.

Catch De Taste

August 18, 2009

The Hoops Manifesto’s tribute to awesome athlete ads continues with this classic from the baseball realm starring Toronto Blue Jays star Roberto Alomar, before he was spitting on umpires and being accused of trying to give girls AIDS. Bon appetite.

Xavier McDaniel is Tougher Than You

August 16, 2009

So you think you are tougher than former NBA All-Star Xavier McDaniel? Here’s proof that you’re not:
– While playing for the Supersonics, the Seattle SWAT team replaced their battering ram with McDaniel’s head.
– McDaniel needs a permit in most states to be in possession of himself.
– He’s surprised he liked Saw 2 because he normally hates comedies.
– X gonna give it to ya, he gonna give it to ya.
– While going for a hike in the mountains of Seattle, he fended off a grizzly bear attack by raising his eyebrow.
– When it is time for Chuck Norris to die, it won’t be the Grim Reaper delivering the news to him, because Chuck would roundhouse the Grim Reaper, but rather the X-Man.
– The original title of the Wu Tang’s classic was “Xavier McDaniel Ain’t Nothing Ta F’ Wit” but before RZA could ask permission X choked him out.
– McDaniel considered entering the UFC until he learned of their “sissy” rules like no eye gauging or groin attacks.
– He once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
– Whoever came up with the expression “I can put my arm back on, you can’t” has never met Xavier McDaniel.
– The only reason the Sonics had to move to Oklahoma City is because McDaniel lost them in his weekly card game with Satan.
– Guess who insisted on human brains as part of his team’s pre-game meal?
– He thinks Bill Laimbeer would have been a better player if he had played with more of a chip on his shoulder.
– Allegedly a referee called a foul on McDaniel once – we don’t speak that referee’s name any longer.
– And, finally, you know what they say about a picture being worth a thousand words:

G.O.A.T. Basketball Commercial

August 15, 2009

Don’t miss my treatise on Michael Vick. Now onto more important things. I stumbled across this video while reading through the archives of the very entertaining The Blowtorch blog today. It could very well be the greatest performance by an athlete in a commercial of all-time. Enjoy.

"It Ain’t Nothing But The Devil"

August 2, 2009

I was originally reluctant to join Twitter but now I’m glad I did. If I wasn’t for Twitter I wouldn’t have the following links for all you good people to check out. They’re the best Jerry, the best. Here are some of the gems I’ve discovered this past week.

First off, the Lego adventures of Allen Iverson and friends is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on the world wide web in a long time. Nuff respect due to the Overflow blog.

Lego Iverson Part 1

Lego Iverson Part 2

Lego Iverson Part 3

Lego Iverson Part 4

Lego Iverson Part 5

Lego Iverson Part 6

And of course, our good friend Stephon Marbury is still hard at work entertaining us all. In this latest instalment he runs into the devil in his Benz. As we all know from experience, that’s not a fun thing to have happen to you.

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Bet you didn’t know that Donyell Marshall was really Luke’s father.

So an Austrian, a Frenchman and an American are on a movie set together….

That’s it for my lazy links dump post. Currently working on a NBA All-Eccentric Team. Any suggestions speak now or forever hold your peace.

Let Us Guide You

June 23, 2009

Can’t wait until Thursday’s NBA draft kicks off? No worries – Dr. Snuggles invented a time machine for me and I’ve already checked out all that went down in this year’s draft. Here’s the highlights:
7:01pm – David Stern’s decision to grow a beard as a favour to Mrs. Stern immediately backfires as all in attendance and the millions watching at home panic, still associating a bearded Stern with the 98/99 NBA lockout. Fearing the League was going bankrupt, Kobe, LeBron, Chris Paul and Dwight Howard invoke the Stern Beard clause in their contact, opt out and sign with teams in the Macedonian Superleague.
7:05pm – With bloody pieces of toilet paper still on his hastily shaven face, Stern announces the first pick of the draft. The Clippers traded their pick to Portland for a t-shirt. L.A. GM Mike Dunleavy is seen wearing a “I Traded Away The #1 Pick And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” shirt the rest of the evening.

7:15pm – Five security guards are taken to hospital after a swarm of screaming, crying, fainting teenage girls wearing Jonas Brothers t-shirts try to rush the stage after Ricky Rubio gets picked. Afterwards, Rubio causes an international incident in his press conference by claiming to be “bigger than Jesus”.

7:30pm – After being selected by Washington, Stephon Curry claims that he thinks he can play the point guard spot in the NBA. This same refrain is uttered by Tyreke Evans, Jrue Holiday and Jeff Teague. Several noses immediately start to grow.

7:35pm – The Knicks select a player with Michael Jordan’s scoring ability, Bill Russell’s defensive skills and Magic Johnson’s passing game. The New York fans boo.

7:40pm – As Brandon Jennings is congratulated by Stern after being selected, Dick Vitale rushes the stage. Screaming “NCAA Antichrist” he attempts to forcibly make Jennings repent with his hand on a NCAA media guide.

7:50pm – Still waiting in the green room to hear his name called, a hungry DeJuan Blair eats Austin Daye. Afterwards he complains that he’s still hungry.

8:00pm – Stephen A. Smith says “HOWEVA” for the 758th time in an hour, breaking the world record of 757 held by Stephen A. Smith.

8:15pm – While flying above the Atlantic on his way to join his new Macedonian team, Vardar 2000 Osiguruvanjes Skopje (that’s a real team name – look it up), LeBron hears about Stern shaving off his beard. He desperately tries to get out of his contract but it is too late – his new team has already dispatched its donkey to the airport to pick him up.

8:30pm – Despite Tyler Hansbrough still being undrafted, a 7-foot Ukranian teenager who only took up the sport last week is selected. Dick Vitale’s head explodes.

8:45pm – God has a hard time concentrating while playing in his Thursday night bowling league due to the incessant interruptions of every drafted player thanking him.

9:00pm – To the joy of Vitale’s headless body, Hansbrough is finally selected. Psycho T dives onto the stage and subsequently begins to bleed profusely.

9:30pm – Backstage, Brandon Jennings struggles reading the teleprompter while taping NBA public service announcement because he lacks the quality seven month college education his draft peers enjoyed.

10:00pm – The second round begins – five Gjorje’s, three Milanko’s, two Jorge’s and a Teflek are selected. All are described as “Nowitzki-esque” by Fran Fraschilla.


10:55pm – Desperate to come home with more than just a lousy t-shirt, the Clippers swing a trade for a late second round pick. They promptly select Austin Daye, currently being broken down by DeJuan Blair’s stomach enzymes.

11:00pm – The draft ends. Chad Ford goes 0-60 in his mock draft.